Every child likes to help mom. However, there are some things you should know. Firstly, the earlier you train your children to help you, the easier it will become when as they get older. You will find home chores to become something that everyone is a part of. In essence you are teaching that each person living in the household has an important contribution to the family. When Joey washes the dishes and Sherry dries and puts them away, that leaves Kenny time to tidy the living room while Mom rotates the laundry and Dad goes over a reading assignment with Paul. In the same twenty minutes five tasks were accomplished, freeing up sanity and free time to spend as a family afterwards. This may sound like the perfect TV family, but it can be yours if you begin to incorporate some simple guidelines.

  • Have a good attitude. Attitude is everything. Demonstrate a good attitude when you are doing your tasks and continue to verbalize that everyone has an important role that helps the family. Your children will pick up on this attitude and do their tasks with a  merry heart as well. Once a good attitude is in place, you will find the work accomplished continues to improve.

  • Don’t expect perfection. Your six year old will not clean the bathroom exactly to your standards the first, second, third, or twentieth time. Keep a good attitude and do NOT go in and correct her mistakes. Doing so will only instill a resentful attitude within your child over time. Each time she performs the chore, be certain to comment about the things she does well. Then take a moment to better explain the details of performing a task you would like improved. For example, we clean our toilets with baking soda and vinegar. When our youngest was trained to clean the bathroom I realized she was using ¾ of a box of baking soda and half a jug of vinegar each time. Instead of saying that was the wrong way to do it, I said, “Let me show you an easier way that will take less time.” Then I demonstrated the technique I prefer. I had to do this 4-5 times before she performed the task to my standard, but I never dampened her spirit in the process. There is nothing worse for a child than thinking you have accomplished something great only to have Mom come behind and make all types of changes that show that your best wasn’t good enough.

  • It’s never too late. Ok, so you didn’t begin training your child the moment he could hold a duster. You knew if you wanted it done your way you would have to do it yourself. Now, years later, your son is 10 years old and he thinks you should do everything for him, you have three other children, and your household chores are overwhelming. Have no fear! You can change things. You and your husband need to explain at different times repeatedly that everyone in the family contributes. Be honest and admit that you made a mistake not training him when he was younger. (Allowing your children to hear you admit to your mistakes will be a life lesson they will never forget.) Tell him that the family needs him and then you need to be patient. You may have to try different method to help him become accustomed to helping on a daily basis. Chores charts, lists, allowance, workboxes, ticket systems, and the like are useful tools. Trial and error will help you determine together what works best for him. Continue to reinforce with a good attitude, but be firm that he has no choice but to contribute to the home. His future wife will thank you for it later!
  • Show your appreciation. Today it has become common place to reward children for everything. Make no mistake, there are times for physical rewards (toys, games, money, clothing, etc.), but helping within the home is not one of them. Think of it this way, if you train your child that with every task there must be a carrot at the end of the day, then she will carry that into adulthood and develop a sense of entitlement. It is better to let them know that they are helping because they live there. (Work in exchange for room and board). Then you can reward with extra things at different times (without expectation placed upon you). For example, after 2 months of struggling with Jonah to vacuum and fold a load of laundry each day, he is finally doing it well and with a merry heart. You also notice that he is making a daily effort to keep his room tidy, without being asked. You may want acknowledge this exceptional transition by offering something like, “Jonah, I want you to know I have noticed how hard you have been working. I really appreciate your better attitude towards your chores. The whole family benefits from your work and the better you get the more it helps the family. Thanks for doing your very best. How about our next trip to the grocery you pick out ice cream and some toppings and we have a special sundae treat?” You have placed value to Jonah’s work, given him recognition for it, and are offering something special just because. There is a big difference between that and having to buy something every time Jonah completes a task, because it is unexpected and not a regular occurrence.

What about allowance?  With the above mentioned, that does not mean you shouldn’t set up an allowance system. Learning to handle money is an important life skill. Offering allowance for work is an excellent way to begin to teach budgeting and living within your means. You and your husband may want to offer weekly or monthly allowance for your children. There are two schools of thought here. The first is to offer a set amount each week or month in exchange for chores. The second is to offer $ for extra jobs, leaving home tasks as something that everyone does and does not get paid for. Both of these, when used correctly are fantastic bases for life skills. You and your husband should keep the focus on teaching spending habits, with earning potential as secondary. The one point you may want to veer away from is buying stuff for your children in addition to allowance. Doing so can create an “I deserve it all,” attitude, which is never a good thing.

These are just a few tips to get you started and get your kids helping you with large Spring Cleaning tasks. Spring cleaning is a perfect time to begin to integrate older children into the cleaning process. Use the tips and tools from The Spring Cleaning Fling to get your children off and running and your home will be sparkling and decluttered in no time!